A message to you and me:
I’ve seen two posts specifically that correlate with one another and stirred my heart so entirely that I’ve been thinking about it for a week straight. Both having the theme of that quote I heard when I was a kid “If you love something, let it go - if it returns, it’s yours forever…” blah blah blah.
But the more I’ve lived and the more I’ve gained things to lose, the more I’ve seen how incredibly selfish and stubborn that theme is. It’s an action caused by fear resulting in more pain than you would have liked to have, and all because we weren’t strong enough to fight for it.
See, it’s frustrating to me, because I’ve lived that life (and still do without realizing it), and I’ve seen it lived. The whole “distance yourself from people to see if they care.” And I thought “If the whole goddam world is sitting back in their own little corners, nobody is going to have a single friend.”
Life isn’t about sitting and waiting for people to love you. It’s about fighting for that love. It’s about freedom and strength and vulnerability.
When Jesus loved us, did he just take a step back and say “Okay, I love them, but if they really love me, they’ll show me…” Hell no. He FOUGHT for us, aka DIED for us. And I can see it all the more, when God loves us, He doesn’t wait for us to come crawling, though that seems to be the case - he FIGHTS for us. He pursues and desires us. And there’s a shit ton of spiritual warfare going on between us and Him that we’re so blind to cause our eyes are closed and our ears are covered and we’re craddling ourselves in a corner of sobs wondering what the hell is wrong with us. Cause the truth is, you simply cannot have a beautiful, lovefilled relationship with someone if BOTH people aren’t fighting for it. It will always fail if one is fighting and the other isn’t moving.
If you don’t feel like people love you, I’m sorry, but the truth is most likely you’re loved more than a lot of other people. And the only thing it takes is for you to accept and believe it or live life the same, distancing yourself from people, letting them go, gaining the same result of lonliness. (And I only feel confident writing this because I am typing it out for myself as well, to read and believe and live out).
But if you see people how they look at you, with love in their eyes and trust in their hearts and truth from their mouths, guaranteed, you’ll be crying a lot more, but only because there’s so much joy inside of you there’s nothing left for it to do but to come streaming down like a fresh flowing river.
It breaks my heart to see people say those things, feeling so strongly like “YES, THIS IS THE WAY TO LIVE.” And see how sad they are at the same time. Which only makes sense.
You’re not the only one, too. It’s everyone. Those people right now, the confident lovers, they’re rare. Therefore, while you’re waiting for someone to pick your friendship back up, they’re doing the same thing, and there it sits, on the ground, dusty and dirty and eventually forgotten.
If you think you’re being strong by walking away, you’re wrong. Vulnerability isn’t a weakness, it’s a gift.
Strong is fighting. It’s hard and it’s painful and it’s every day. It’s what we have to do and we can do it together.
(that’s all for now, but so much more on this later…)