December 2009
24 posts
Honestly,
And I think what people think of me is not who I am and what my heart is really singing are songs of joy and love, yet there is a gate built around that heart - which started out as a nice white picked fence meant for slight protection yet welcoming and it eventually turned into a wall and a curtain over that wall trapped under a box with cement poured on top and an entire city built above it; a...
“I feel like we have that fear with the Holy Spirit. And I’ll be honest,...”
– Francis Chan, The Holy Spirit Part 2
A Little Like a Dream of Mine
Charlotte Charles: I can't even hug you? What if you need a hug? A hug can turn your whole day around.
Ned: I'm not a fan of the hug.
Charlotte Charles: Then you haven't been hugged properly. It's like an emotional Heimlich. Someone puts their arms around you and they give you a squeeze and all your fear and anxiety come shooting out of your mouth in a big wet wad and you can breath again.
Ned: That's fine for someone else to do if I'm choking on something other than emotion, but you can't touch me.
Charlotte Charles: So a kiss is out of the question?
Ned: I've lost my train of thought.
1 tag
Even After All These Years.
Ashlee: Can I have a Slim Jim?
Noah: Do you like beef jerky?
Ashlee: Yes, that is why I'm eating it
Noah: There's so much I have to learn about you
December 24th, 2010.
I got a fortune from a cookie once that said “You care too much about your appearance”
My thoughts, “What the H?! How is that a good fortune…” But it was truth.
That was my freshman year in High School. And to this day, it remains truth. To a certain extent, I could care less. But I do care. If I’m running over to a friends after just having showered, wet...
My Dear Friend Cory Webster, and the Future
He, like I, is an aspiring film maker. But I know to be true we are not just aspiring, but what our futures hold is in fact those dreams becoming more than reality.
And Cory just recently Tumbled about film making and an article from James Cameron and Peter Jackson, in which Jackson stated, “I think we’re going to enter a phase where there’s less interest in the CGI (computer generated...
1 tag
Getting to know my Best Friend
Ashlee: Noah, what are your passions? What are your desires?
Noah: Golf and pizza...I'm passionate about golf and I desire pizza.
And I wonder
the things i do think of so at this very moment in time:
- will i ever able to sing and play guitar at once? My heart desires it more than anything.(and to sound good)
- will it ever be normal for my worlds to collide?
- and will there ever be a friend of mine I consider my best and they feel the same. Equal love and life.
- will it be a big production company or just a small one?
- do any of...
Back to Reality.
I’ve come to find, which makes complete sense, that my life is not a series, but rather a collection of sorts, of films, with the same actors all in different characters and costumes. I am the Leading Lady. And I am me. But in each film, I am also someone else. And the film currently being played out in my Tempe home is my favorite thus far. And coming back to California feels exactly (and...
Broken
Like an iPod that hits the ground for the eighteenth time. Like a TV remote without batteries. Like an old CD player from the 90s that just simply gave up after a good ten plus years. I am sorry this is the reality of the matter. I have emotions. And fear.
Perfect Love Casts out All Fear
I know what perfect love is and I know who gives it, I just have yet to experience it. And I am sorry. That...
It's the little things.
Ashlee: God. I don't feel it. Show me I'm loved!
(silence)
Ashlee: Please! God. Some big sign. Show me! I feel like I'm sitting in the back row and you can't see me.
God: You know that's not true.
Ashlee: But that's how I feel. Send me something so I know.
God: You do know.
Ashlee: Please!
God: You know. You don't need a sign.
Ashlee: I'm angry and frustrated and I feel unloved and alone and unheard from anyone. Can I even hear you? Are you even listening!
God: Yes. And you know.
Ashlee: (remains angry, wishing she got a sign, some song that played at the perfect moment or a stranger to tell her she's loved or a text from a friend)
Work ends, still angry, walking on campus.
God: Go to Starbucks.
Ashlee: I don't want Starbucks.
God: Just go.
Ashlee: I guess it couldn't hurt.
Joel is working, and i thought he already had his last day.
Joel: want something to drink?
Ashlee: for free?
Joel: Yeah!
Three minutes later. Free Venti Carmel Frappachino in hand. "Queen Lucy the Valiant" as my name. Made my day.
Ashlee: Thanks, God.
God: (smiles)
Ashlee: All I've had today is coffee. I'm really excited to go home and eat some toast.
God: I AM really excited FOR YOU to go home and eat toast!
Even when we don't feel it, He's there. Let's get over ourselves and just accept it.
I don't have a profound thought.
Just lost words. I watched the Brothers Bloom. I enjoyed the characters, the editing, and the scenery, but I’m still chewing on the story. Movies like that, 500 Days of Summer, Definitely Maybe, and Elizabethtown tend to linger in my mind a bit longer than others for one very simple reason. The Female Lead, I want to relate to: in their quirk and their charm and the idea that they are so...
The First Post.
It’s a rainy day, with a headache inside, and a sore throat as the accessory. And these times make me feel as though i should be filled with sorrow and despair. But i remember My God. My Father. And how can I cry tears of anything but joy? I think it’s probably just the headache that’s bothersome. And forgotten friends. And lost words. And the desire to order food, but no place...